A Muppet Friends Camping Trip transcript
Prologue: Outside the Muppet Family Boarding House The Muppet friends are loading up their luggage inside the Electric Mayhem bus. Kermit: "Okay, that's everything, now let's go on our camping trip." The Muppet friends get on the Electric Mayhem bus and sit in their proper seats. Robin: "Oh boy, I can hardly wait to see what Camp Leader Jack's gonna do with all of us." Bean: "So can I." The Muppet friends drive around on their way to Don Rickles Memorial National Park. Walter: "Wow, look at all of those birds and trees." Fade to a black screen.... Tune Music In Background Kermit: "It's time to get things started again." [Short Version Of The Muppet Show Theme Tune In Background] Scene 1: Don Rickles Memorial National Park Kermit: "Alright, gang, here we are." Camp Leader Jack: "Hey, Kermit, guys, you're all here, now let's get all of our gear on and begin our hiking trip." The Muppet friends and Camp Leader Jack put on their hiking gear and head on out. Camp Leader Jack: "Can you feel the beauty of nature, you guys?" Sam: "All I can feel is a lot of sweat drops going right down the back of my head." They continue walking around, but Camp Leader Jack stops them in their tracks. Camp Leader Jack: "Now right before we begin our hiking trip, I'm gonna put down some rules, rule number 1: you must always stick with your good friend and partner, we can't come back to San Francisco without 1 of them, rule number 2, never touch or eat any type of plant in the wilderness forest, it can cause trouble and you could either pass away or get poisoned, rule number 3: keep your trash litter in your hands, we don't wanna hurt the environment with our trash litter, and rule number 4: if you need the lavatory, you must do it right behind a tree or 2 shrubs or the outhouse, but not in the pathway, did any of you get all of that?" Walter: "Yes we did." Camp Leader: "Good, then let's go." The Muppet friends and Camp Leader Jack begin walking around on their hiking trip. Rizzo: "Look, dere's a black bear and dree dea' in de wilderness." Kermit: "We'd better try and keep away from them." Gonzo: "Hey look, it's getting dark out here." Rowlf: "We'd better get movin' back to the campsite." Back at the campsite The Muppet friends are now making s'more sandwiches by the campfire. Fozzie: "I call this 1 a traditional campfire song." Fozzie: On Country Western Guitar Oh give me a home where the buffalo rome '' ''and the deer and the antelope play where seldom is heard a discouraging word and the skies are not cloudy all day (spoken) "Kermit." Kermit: home, home '' ''on the range Fozzie: "Scooter." Scooter: where the deer and the antelope play Fozzie: "Robin." Robin: where seldom is heard Fozzie: "Bean." Bean: a discouraging word Fozzie: "Tim." Swedish Chef: und zee skeees ere-a nut cluoody ell dey Fozzie: "Wasn't that relaxing?" Sam: "No, this is relaxing." Sam: [Playing Stand By Me On Oboe] Kermit: "I'll save you, Sam!" Kermit throws a Mr. Puffy marshmallow at Sam's oboe. Kermit: "Sam! are you alright?!?" Sam chews the Mr. Puffy marshmallow up. Kermit: "That's it, chew it very slowly, there is that much better now?" Sam: "Much better? I certainly wasn't that much better when that ballistic junk food almost went right down my wind pipe." Kermit: "But, Sam, I had to help you out, you shouldn't play your oboe out here in the wilderness, it might attract Nervously a lava dragon." Sam: "A lava dragon? you mean like the 1s that don't exist?" Kermit: "So what are you saying?" Sam: "There's no such thing, they're only a myth." Kermit: "No, Sam, it's all too real, it says here in the newspaper." Sam: (looking right at the newspaper) "I encountered a lava dragon?" Gonzo: "Well it can't be that crazy." Sam: (looking right at the newspaper again) "Lava dragons and werewolves are real? that's the most craziest thing I've heard in my entire life." Kermit: "Gonzo's absolutely right, Sam, lava dragons are terrifying." Sam: "You guys are absolutely right, I should be super careful, but why don't you tell me all of the things I shouldn't do if I wanna keep the lava dragons away?" Kermit: "Okay, Sam, that's easy, 1st of all, don't play the oboe." Sam: "Alright, then what?" Miss Piggy: "Never move your flashlight back and forth real fast." Scooter: "Flashlights are their natural prey." Sam: "You're kidding me." Fozzie: "Don't stomp your feet, they can take that as a challenge." Walter':' "Yeah right." Sam: (writing on his notepad) "Go ahead. Kermit':' "Don't ever eat cheese cubes." Sam: "Right. cheese cubes, and?" Pepe: "Never wear a sombrero," Beauregard: "in a crazy fashion." Link Hogthrob: "Or green clown shoes." Bean: "Or a hula skirt." Rizzo':' "And neva," Gonzo "ever." Robin: "cluck like a wild chicken." Sam: "That seems interesting, but how many things can set a lava dragon off?" All other Muppet friends: "They're terrifying!" Sam: "And suddenly I have the sense that we're all in terrible danger." Clifford: "Why's that?" Sam: "I don't know, (he runs off and returns with a red flashlight, green clown shoes, a hula skirt, sombrero and a tray full of cheese cubes) just a true feeling." Fozzie: "No way." Sam: "Yes, of course." Beaker: "Mee, mee." ("No way.") Sam: "Cluck, cluckity, cluck, cluck." Kermit: "Sam, come on, please don't do that!" Fozzie: "Kermit, what are we gonna do? a lava dragon's sure to come and eat all of us." Kermit: "Don't worry about it, Fozzie, I'll put this hula hoop all around us." Kermit puts a blue hula hoop right around him and his good friends. Fozzie: "Good thinking, Kermit, all of the experts say it's the only defense against a lava dragon attack." Sam: "You guys are so crazy, see? I did everything that attracts a lava dragon, and nothing happened, if lava dragons really exist, why didn't 1 show up sooner or later?" Gonzo: "Maybe that's 'cause you're not wearing your sombrero in a crazy fashion." Sam: "Oh, yeah right, sorry 'bout that, how crazy of me, you mean like this?" Sam is now wearing his sombrero in a crazy fashion. Kermit: "Yeah right, but look behind you!" Lava Dragon: And Snarling Sam: AAAAAAAAAAAAH! Sam runs around in fear while Kermit and the other Muppet friends are now huddled together as always in the anti-lava dragon hula hoop. Kermit: "Sam, are you alright?" Sam: "No, of course not." Floyd: "Hurry up and jump right into our anti-lava dragon hula hoop right before he comes back again!" Dr. Teeth: "Yeah right, lava dragons often attack more than once." Sam: "Are you outta your minds? a hula hoop won't stop that lava monster, I'm running away for my entire life!" All Muppet friends: "No! stop!" Walter: "Don't run around, Sam, lava dragons hate that." Sam: "Thanks for telling me that, I guess I'll just limp right back to my cabin then." Sam begins limping. Kermit: "They hate limping more than running around!" Sam: "Well I guess I'll just need to-" Sam begins sneaking around all over the place. Rowlf: "We should've warned you about sneakin'!" Sam: "What did I do this time?" Lava Dragon: And Snarling Again Kermit: "I don't know, Sam, I guess he just doesn't like you, here, join us in this hula hoop." Sam gets right in the anti-lava dragon hula hoop and the lava dragon stares at him, then leaves right away. Sam: "Thank goodness, the lava dragon's no longer here." Zoot: "Now that's a relief, man." Camp Leader Jack: "Well, you guys, now that the lava dragon's gone for good, let's go right inside our cabins and get some beauty sleep." Camp Leader Jack and the Muppet friends go right inside their cabins and get their beauty sleep. End production credits Directed by James Bobin Produced by Nicholas Stollar Music composed by Christophe Beck Cast members credits David DeLuise as Camp Leader Jack Voice performers credits Matt Vogel as Kermit, Floyd and the Lava Dragon (voices) Eric Jacobson as Miss Piggy, Fozzie, Sam and Animal (voices) Dave Goelz as Gonzo, Beauregard and Zoot (voices) Bill Barretta as Pepe, Rowlf, the Swedish Chef and Dr. Teeth (voices) David Rudman as Scooter, Janice and Beaker (voices) Peter Linz as Walter, Bean, Robin, Rizzo and Link Hogthrob (voices)